It’s never my fault
Part of being self loving is that i never blame myself for things to the point that sometimes i ask myself is it though? If it is why didn’t i feel the slightest feeling that i should put pressure on myself to say that i was the one to blame. But no it’s never my fault. I think i love myself too much to “torture” myself to be the one to blame, and the fact is it was never my fault.
When i said it was never my fault, I’m not talking about in an argument i was never wrong. No this is not the kind of “not my fault” kind of situation.
Why i write this post was from a conversation with jessie this afternoon while we’re sitting by the river. It came to me, that some people actually blames themselves on the matter that even if it was as clear as daylight that it wasn’t their fault, they still blame themself.
The day i got sexually assaulted in paris, there wasn’t even the slightest moment that i blame myself. And i heard so many stories of people who has been sexually abused or assaulted, they would think as if their value is decreased, that they are not worth it, that it was their fault. When i told the story about i got sexually assaulted to my sister, she end it with “it’s okay you’ll get through this, it’s not your fault” and i was actually fine, nothing to “get through” and i thought to myself why would i blame myself? Not an inch of this incident was my fault. Yes, i was a little bit drunk but i feel like this shit can happen to any sober people. I wasn’t dressing provocatively, i was wearing a long jeans and a t-shirt. None of this was my fault, why would you feel the need to say that it was not my fault? I can see damn clearly that it was that perverted shithead’s fault, not mine.
When going through my breakup, i didn’t blame myself either. I know lots of broken hearted out there who got dumped for no apparent reason would blame themselves thinking maybe they are not good enough, maybe they did not satisfy their partner, or maybe they were not pretty or good looking enough, they would blame their flaws. Not me. I fully think that it was that asshole’s fault that he dump me just like that. I blame him for being a jerk that’s just in his personality. I am aware that i am not perfect but i was not to blame. It was all him. I felt like i did all my best to show my love but he doesn’t seem to appreciate it in the end so he can go fuck himself. I felt like I’m a pretty enough that he likes me on the first place, even if he didn’t mean it, his best friend actually hit on me so I’m pretty sure he find me attractive too. So no, none of this is my fault.
I think it’s actually good when you love yourself that you became aware that you can’t blame yourself for something that is not your fault. No one is perfect but if it’s not your fault, it’s just not. Don’t torture yourself thinking that it is. Stop hating yourself and start see how much you worth, which is waaaay more that you might think.
When i said it was never my fault, I’m not talking about in an argument i was never wrong. No this is not the kind of “not my fault” kind of situation.
Why i write this post was from a conversation with jessie this afternoon while we’re sitting by the river. It came to me, that some people actually blames themselves on the matter that even if it was as clear as daylight that it wasn’t their fault, they still blame themself.
The day i got sexually assaulted in paris, there wasn’t even the slightest moment that i blame myself. And i heard so many stories of people who has been sexually abused or assaulted, they would think as if their value is decreased, that they are not worth it, that it was their fault. When i told the story about i got sexually assaulted to my sister, she end it with “it’s okay you’ll get through this, it’s not your fault” and i was actually fine, nothing to “get through” and i thought to myself why would i blame myself? Not an inch of this incident was my fault. Yes, i was a little bit drunk but i feel like this shit can happen to any sober people. I wasn’t dressing provocatively, i was wearing a long jeans and a t-shirt. None of this was my fault, why would you feel the need to say that it was not my fault? I can see damn clearly that it was that perverted shithead’s fault, not mine.
When going through my breakup, i didn’t blame myself either. I know lots of broken hearted out there who got dumped for no apparent reason would blame themselves thinking maybe they are not good enough, maybe they did not satisfy their partner, or maybe they were not pretty or good looking enough, they would blame their flaws. Not me. I fully think that it was that asshole’s fault that he dump me just like that. I blame him for being a jerk that’s just in his personality. I am aware that i am not perfect but i was not to blame. It was all him. I felt like i did all my best to show my love but he doesn’t seem to appreciate it in the end so he can go fuck himself. I felt like I’m a pretty enough that he likes me on the first place, even if he didn’t mean it, his best friend actually hit on me so I’m pretty sure he find me attractive too. So no, none of this is my fault.
I think it’s actually good when you love yourself that you became aware that you can’t blame yourself for something that is not your fault. No one is perfect but if it’s not your fault, it’s just not. Don’t torture yourself thinking that it is. Stop hating yourself and start see how much you worth, which is waaaay more that you might think.
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